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Choices…

I’ve taken a hiatus – still written a lot so you might see it up here in a flurry one day.  I’m back now with what might not be a popular post.  I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I value.  That’s where all the etiquette and niceties come from isn’t it? What you value, what you see as important and hold as key to your happiness.  Above all else I value my family.  I will never be grateful enough for the family that raised me, or the family that I now have the privilege of raising.  I adore them. Those three little faces are my and my husbands whole world.  So why is it that I’m leaving them in a month to go back to work full time?  Choices.

I play the scenarios in my head at least 20 times a day – how can we make it work so that I can maximize my time with my babies during these fleeting moments when they are so small, so impressionable, so full of love and wonder and need?  It doesn’t seem to work.  Any way we slice it I need to leave them in someone else’s care.  It’s not that I don’t enjoy or feel fulfilled with my career – in fact I love the prospect of what I’ll return to – and I value where I work and what it stands for – but I feel empty inside when I think about leaving my babes five days a week right now.

Unfortunately this is the world we choose to live in. The city we choose to own a house in.  The clothes and toys and vacations we choose to “need”.  I want nothing more than to have the will power to throw it all to the wind.  I want to tell all those women who fought so hard so that we would have the choice to work that they only created a society where we still don’t really have a choice – instead now we have to work. It seems so wrong.

I want to be stronger. I want to be able to put my ego aside and be happy with whatever we end up with so that we can raise our family the way that we wistfully spoke about seven years ago when we first got married.  At what point did “choice” become a scary word wrought with opportunity cost and lost chances?

A dark return – and not entertaining to say the least – but fear not I have recipes and party tips galore right around the corner.  Until then my friends – please share with me what you value most and how you marry your choices to that which you hold dear…

Easter. Hoppin to it

I’ve been a blog delinquent.  I have a backlog to share but thought I would start here since it is Easter tomorrow…

If you’re lucky enough to have friends or family sharing Easter with you tomorrow – we wish you happy hosting.  Our number one rule when hosting big family gatherings is food – and lots of it! Variety for all the picky eaters and volume for all the voracious eaters.

The most delicate parts of hosting a big family function are often keeping everyone’s scheduling needs and eating needs in order in your head.  In our case tomorrow is a blur of our whole family together, two different church times, an egg hunt, three different nap times, two baptisms and a dinner for 18.  Crazy.  But the best kind of fun.

The biggest tip from me is prepare in advance, which doesn’t help for Easter since it’s two hours away… apologies for the delay. In my case sugar cookies as name plates were made on Tuesday, three varieties of potatoes were made Friday, Mille Feuille for dessert made Saturday and just finishing the sauce for the green beans tonight that will be steamed quickly tomorrow.  I’m not hosting tomorrow, my lovely sister is, but I’m thrilled to be contributing to the fun meal.  By having everything done in advance, the evening can be more about the people and less about the stress of getting food ready and out on the table.  It means less stress for you and for your guests who will no doubt be asking – ‘what can i do?’

We have an adult table and a kids table at big dinners like this one so that some level of conversation can happen for both groups.  We also ensure there is a special detail that’s fun to sit down to for our big family meals; it might be a Christmas cracker and joke, or an Easter sugar cookie dressed up like a carrot with your name on it, a game for kids while they wait for food, or a little box of crayons and kraft paper for kids.  Sitting down to dinner should be fun.  It should also still involve manners.  This means kids ask before leaving the table, practice table manners by trying new food, having conversations at normal levels and participating in traditions like grace.  This is a great, fun place to practice being polite for young ones and a wonderful place to reconnect over a lingering meal for everyone.  It also means as an adult waiting until everyone is seated to eat, minding the conversation topics (and how much you talk), and showing your appreciation for the food and the host.

our biggest bunny getting excited for Easter with his Easter ears on last night at dinner 🙂

Hosting means not expecting to have help with dinner prep or dishes (but being very thankful when gracious guests help you especially with clean up!) It means ensuring wine or beer glasses are full, people are smiling, and food is a plenty.  It means saving the victim from the chatty relative in an unassuming way, rescuing the small child from the barrage of cheek pinchers with a little wink, and freshening the air with grace when things go sour for a moment (figuratively or literally

).  All the little things that go wrong (they are inevitable) are met with a smile.  It’s the best job there is.  You are CEO of your home and president of your party – and you have the ability to make it the best dinner anyone has ever had, that day.

Enjoy – have fun – and we’ll all raise a glass to you!  And please, share your Easter traditions or etiquette here as well.  Happy Easter!

mmm dessert!